TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
you had me at cake vodka
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Randomize
