if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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