All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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