Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
