We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
