You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
