Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
