Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
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She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
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You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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