Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
