You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
