You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
