im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
