what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
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frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
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Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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