Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She's like a pop up book from hell.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
