Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
