Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I see more hoeing in ur future
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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