I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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