he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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