Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
