Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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