New invention idea: vibrating tampons
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You should frame my arrest warrant.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
