we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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