girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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