A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
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Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
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We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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