Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
