oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
