I would go down on you faster than GM stock
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
