I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
