she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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