There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
We need a shit load of segways right now
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
