I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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