Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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