I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
