Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
