He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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