I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
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