So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
