I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
