we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
