Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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