dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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