Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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