Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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