But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
