you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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