i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
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I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
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Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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