dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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