I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
