just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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