I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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