I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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