I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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