I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
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I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
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You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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