Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
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i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
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i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
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