So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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