I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
