Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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