To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
