Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
there is puke in my bra ... again
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