Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
My dick has a subreddit
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
