weddingsv make me drug and hornr
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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